New Years Grinch

Tomorrow is a new year. Another artificial marker in time... another rollover of some arbitrary counter. Another opportunity to make some sort of resolution on exercise, habits, goals, etc.

I don't feel any different today than I did yesterday. And tomorrow, I won't feel any different than I did today. Today, the sun rose and it set, and so it shall tomorrow. Any "resolution" that we want to start tomorrow might as well be started today. I don't believe "tomorrow" is a special "tomorrow." We have opportunities every day to start new.

"Behold, I makes all things new."

And yet, as I go through the journals, writings, and poems from this last year, I cannot deny that a string of days has wrought change. Or rather, retrospectively, I can say that God has remained faithful. Reading my journal from 12/31/08, I can humbly say that I didn't accomplish all my goals or resolutions. I have fallen short on multiple levels... community, holiness, academic goals, spirituality... and yet I am still here, enveloped and surrounded by an acceptance and love that is not rooted in the successful accomplishment of my goals, no matter how noble they might be.

I spent the year quite selfishly, and have found it rather vacuous. I frequently cheated myself with the cheap and easy when depth and substance required work and sacrifice. Despite all that, He has been faithful, and I will not make the mistake Israel made, which was to forget God's faithfulness.

So tomorrow is like any other day, albeit one in which I will probably miswrite the date as '09. Today I give thanks, and tomorrow is a day in which mercies are made new.

'08

Behold, the old has gone and the new has come. 
But I still feel the same. 
08. 
These are our numbers to claim, 
Engraved at the ends of our names. 
An end and a beginning are etched in our hearts. 
The ebb of time cannot weather the carvings 
Chiseled by the very hands of God. 

Tonight the air is even, 
Obstructing none of the galaxies that light our eyes 
           A glimpse of what He called "good" 
           Before our souls became dim. 
 
'08 is but 120 minutes old. 
Tonight, my prayers will shed their words and fade into 
The stage for the first dreams of this year.