“Having it together”... I want to say it’s overrated. I want to say we should be able to break down and be ok with it. But in the end, the purpose of the breakdown is so that I can “have it together” again afterwards, because in this world, I need to be functional. I need to be able to study and take tests, write papers and concentrate. I can’t afford to sit around all day trying to “get better.” The difficulty is finding that delicate balance where I have the peace and freedom to lick my wounds while continuing to find ways of functioning.
I've been trying to make the most of the last few weeks I have here. I’ve been trying to keep my eyes on the glass that’s half full hoping that I can ignore the emptiness that screams at me. It screams in my face, and it seems like all I can do is squeeze my eyes shut, plug my fingers in my ears and yell back, “Lalalalala I’m not listening!”
Who the hell am I fooling?
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